picture

there’s this picture of me
we printed it up a while ago

I’m about ten or twelve and my blonde blonde hair falls straight past my ears
to the collar of my button up short-sleeved pink shirt

I’m sitting on the midsummer grass
most likely on our yard in Gretna

one leg is bent up and I’m resting my hands and chin on the knee
the other leg is tucked under

my black and white sneaker anchors my pose
as I stare into some unknown distance

I’m not exactly happy
my eyes rabbit-like, expecting something

I don’t remember being there or the picture being taken
I don’t even remember the shirt

but I remember the feeling
that apprehensive wondering – indefinable aloneness

that strikes a boy becoming man