Friday, January 27, 2012

writing it down (Part I)

friday evening ringing telephone:
“dad’s not well
this could be it”

stomach stops normal function
driving winter highway in silence
the heater so loud we turn it down
this is not the usual weekend visit
------- reading--------crossword--------supper

the room is different
dad is not tilted in his usual chair
---------bed in center
thatch of white hair against pillow
breathing so loud
so horrible
mom is lost in this tiny space
nothing to do

cousins gather
chatter forces normalcy
but the vigil has begun

what else to do but sing
hymns travel down donwood hallways
young voices carry older tears along the wavering melodies

arrangements made for night
mom stays and we take turns
cramping into chairs
distracted minds rest against metal
rattled breathing continues even after pauses
it could be any time
but each time the next breath forces into lungs

life force – a fearful thing

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